Your Team Lost. Eat Your Feelings.

Updated: Sep 14

Sunday of Week One NFL Football has come to a close and your team lost. Losing comes with a lot of feelings. Don’t worry. We’re here to help. I’ve paired up with Emily Kluge, Twitter’s favorite baker (@hills_have_pies), to share a regionally appropriate dessert, perfect for eating your feelings!


Orange Meringue Pie- Wakes you up and even boosts that immune system with that fresh Florida citrus. The filling is made up of oranges/juice/zest, sugar, and cornstarch to hold everything together. The topping, being the tricky part, is meringue. This part is essential. If you don’t whip the eggs just right- everything falls flat. Practice makes perfect, y’all. Also, it’s too sunny in Florida to let one loss sour up all of the weeks to come. Orange you glad we had this talk?


Sponge Candy- An area spanning from Syracuse to Erie is something called “the sponge belt”. Buffalo being in the heart of this area only makes sense that this sweet should be of comfort to Bills fans. The contents are gelatin, light corn syrup, sugar, water, and baking soda. The thing about sponge candy is it can look messy at first, then expands and firms to build something sweet. Some even dip this sweet in chocolate and that would definitely be something to look forward to!


Salted Chocolate Chip Cookie- The chocolate chip cookie is a great beginner recipe to try. It’s not always perfect the first time but as you keep practicing, you see better results. All the ingredients have to be just right. We know there’s flour, baking soda, butter, light brown and confectioners sugar, egg, vanilla, and chocolate chips. All of those parts have to be perfect or the structure of the cookie doesn’t work. The trick is the sea salt topping. Jets fans may be salty for the loss, but look forward to the pairing of a new week with something sweet.

Titans Banana Pudding- Tennessee holds an annual festival for banana pudding they treasure it so much. Is there a better way to comfort yourself? I think not. The base of the dessert is vanilla wafers, they are what holds the base of the pudding together. Then in goes the bananas for the flavor, top with the sweet vanilla pudding, and keep layering those for optimal results. Topping this dessert off with whipping cream brings everything together. This sweet just keeps getting better time after time.

Washington Football Team Nanaimo Bars- This dessert is great because it requires no baking. After a tough week, there’s nothing better than less of a mess and a full belly of sugar. This sweet has a vanilla and cocoa crumb bottom layer, custard powder buttercream, and a layer of chocolate for the topping. While this dessert is well-known in Washington and surrounding areas, who says it can’t be a great sweet everywhere over time?


Honey Nut Cake- Vikings were known to need all the energy they could find and after this week’s close game, it could be understood why Vikings fans could use a boost of something sweet. This cake is made up of hazelnut, dried apple, honey, and eggs. A dessert that’s quick and easy- don’t worry about any overtime in the kitchen. Eat like a Viking would and find that energetic spirit for another week of football.


Hoosier Sugar Cream Pie- Those native to Indiana know this dessert well. There’s nothing like a flaky pie crust, a perfectly sweet filling, and delectable taste. Some could say at first glance this pie could be somewhat of a “plain Jane” but when you take your first bite there’s no doubting the potential. This pie needs flour, sugar, heavy cream, milk, butter, vanilla, and a hint of nutmeg. All of these ingredients make up something special and just like in the game of football, all parts have to be just right or the final product will leave a bad taste in your mouth. Get yourself a slice and prepare for another matchup ahead.


Bourbon Pecan Pie- There’s always a loser up against birds of prey. Unfortunately for the Falcons, they were the weaker species this week. Ya can’t win ‘em all but all of Georgia wins with a pecan pie. Was it mentioned you add booze to this pie? Talk about true comfort. This yummy treat has everything with eggs, light/brown corn syrup, sugar, butter, bourbon, vanilla, salt, and delicious pecans. The trick to a good pie is a flaky crust and a strong structure without a soggy bottom. If you can bake it just right, the pie is the limit.


Astoria Pastry Shop Key Lime Pie- This place has all the sugary weapons to combat the week one blues but Imagine Key Lime Pie is the way to go here. Sure, it starts out tart but there’s nothing more beautiful than well-balanced flavors. Could there be a more perfect place to eat your feelings and realize something delicious? The Lions’ offensive weaponry can bring you happiness down the road, just as Astoria’s pastries have given you during the ensuing emotional recovery. Not in Detroit? All you need is graham cracker crumbs, condensed milk, brown sugar, butter, milk, heavy cream, lime zest/juice, and powdered sugar.


Mitchell’s Homemade Ice Cream Cake- A local chain based out of Cleveland, Ohio can serve you your feelings in the form of a healer of all; ice cream. Sundaes? Got it. Shakes? Absolutely. Feeling reeeeaaally down? I think it’s only right to grab their chocolate cake with a layer of ice cream, iced with homemade fudge and whipped cream. Just like Mitchell’s has an amazing dessert variety, the Browns have plenty of options to make the upcoming season a whirlwind of winning goodness. A Browns fan not in Cleveland, you say? Grab some cream, a sweetener of your choice, toss a spice in there, or even some fruit and get to churnin’.


Boston Cream Pie- French chef Raelyn of Boston’s Parker House Hotel invented this sweet in 1881. Back then “pie” was what now resembles a cake. This isn’t just any cake, it’s double layered with delicious custard placed in the middle. Don’t forget the chocolate glaze. If you’ve never ordered Boston Cream Pie before, you’d certainly be confused at its appearance but just like week one of football… not everything is as it appears at first. One week will not necessarily be a bunch of bad weeks, and optimism can be sweeter than you think. Grab your flour, baking powder, cornstarch, sugar, eggs, salt, milk, heavy cream, butter, vanilla, and bittersweet chocolate while we bake everything better.


Pumpkin Spice Caramel Cronut- The cronut was first introduced in New York and to the world in 2013. The creatively scrumptious dessert is a croissant-doughnut pastry and what a better way to cheer you up than with the flavors of fall, which is a gorgeous pairing with happy football thoughts. From the yeast to the sugar, to the pumpkin spice flavoring and caramel topping- this sweet is a deep-fried *chef’s kiss*. Giant’s fans are passionate, as are their players. While this week didn’t go as planned it’s scientifically proven that this sugar-bomb will comfort your souls. Good things take time. The cronut wasn’t made in a day, you know.


Apple Pie and a Slice of Cheese- The apple pie is a national treasure. We know Aaron Rodgers is a crowned jewel to Packers fans. Why not bring two worlds together for a dessert stemming from England (Aaron Rodgers’ heritage is of English descent so this is all coming together swimmingly)? Grab a slice of good old Wisconsin sharp cheddar cheese on a hearty piece of apple pie, take a deep breath and keep your (cheese)heads up. A loss that can have you feeling empty will only be filled with a flaky crust, sliced honey crisp apples, butter, cornstarch, brown and granulated sugar, vanilla, cinnamon, nutmeg, some high-quality H2O… and cheese. Of course.


Blueberry Oat Streusel Galette- You know what bears love? Berries. You know what else? Bears…Berries…Battlestar Galactica. As a Bears fan, I know this internal struggle. It’s very real. One could say that you can heal this pain with Portillo’s Chocolate Cake but NO. Let’s go to the bear itself, follow our noses, and find the blueberry oat streusel galette. Just like the galette engulfs its buttery dough body around the filling like a warm hug, that’s what we all need; a sugar-filled embrace. Go get a pie shell, blueberries, sugar, cornstarch, lemon juice/zest, a touch of salt, and a smile because we’re going baking. What’s streusel? Just take some oats, brown sugar, cinnamon, flour, and butter and we’ve got ourselves a party.

Feeling better? Good! BIG thanks to Emily for providing all of this yummy dessert goodness! Be sure to give her a follow @hills_have_eyes and you can find me @KellyInPhoenix on Twitter. If you’re new to the blog, be sure to check out the rest of the blogs and pods from The Commish. Maybe next week, we can collab with a fitness expert to help us work off all of those sad, delicious calories? :)